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Caring for Your Pet Mammoth

If you haven’t heard the news, the Russians have discovered mammoth remains that could allow them to – wait for it – <em>clone</em> a brand-new woolly beast. Naturally, the next question any reasonable person would ask is, “When do I get to ride one?” Well, after Richard Branson takes his turn, maybe you’ll get your chance. Scientists have been cloning animals for some time now, and the latest advances involve the successful cloning of complex human organs like kidneys and even brain cells. So, the odds of a batch of mammoths being whipped up are actually pretty good, if we’re to believe the reports out of the Novosibirsk archipelago Of course, riding mammoths will probably be a lot like swimming with the dolphins, or riding regular elephants – you gotta have the cash. The only hope for us common folk to bury our hands in luxurious mammoth fur is if those wily Russian scientists figure out how to mass produce them. And if they do, you’ll want to be ready. <strong>Space</strong> First, you’re going to need some room for your mammoth to roam. The Association of Zoos and Aquariums recommends outdoor space of at least 1,800 square feet and an indoor space of at least 400 square feet for regular elephants. The good news is that mammoths are actually a bit smaller than African elephants – so that seems pretty manageable! <strong>Diet</strong> This could get tricky. Did peanuts exist back in the mammoth’s day? Let’s assume so, and if they didn’t, then we can hope it will be deliciously surprised. The problem is that they’ll have to eat about 700 pounds of peanuts (and other food) a day to stay healthy. Maybe the Russians will figure out how to miniaturize them … <strong>Climate</strong> One would likely guess that mammoths like it cold thanks to Ray Romano and a seemingly unending string of "Ice Age" movies, but they had actually adapted to seasonal temperatures before they, ah, went the way of the dodo. So, your mammoth should be comfortable with a fairly wide climate range as long as there are no extremes. <strong>Activity</strong> If it’s anything like a modern elephant, your mammoth will be very intelligent and love to play. Ideally, you’ll be able to afford another mammoth, because they’re very social creatures, but if not you need to make sure there are plenty of oversized toys, watering holes, logs and other stimuli in its enclosure. <a title="ATG Stores Homepage" href="http://www.atgstores.com/" target="_blank">ATGStores.com</a> wishes you luck in caring for your new mammoth – when it arrives.
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